Inside
by amber-eyed child
Summary: [ A collection of drabbles ] Syaoran sat down on his bed while Sakura watched him. [ Chapter 8 Up ]
1. She Waits

Who would have thought my first CCS drabble would be centered around one of my least favorite characters? Ah, such is life. I will be updating hopefully the rest of the week, because then I will be gone for the next week. XP I live in a horrible world.

* * *

She chewed on the end of her pen absently, because she liked to daydream during class. More often than not she would be caught staring outside the window while the teacher lectured to deaf ears.

And as she nibbled on the end of the pen that was the same color as her hair, she pondered and wondered. Waited.

Yes, she thought, as her eyes closed and opened again to the bright blue skies, she was waiting. Waiting for the day to end, waiting for her friends to realize what was there for them, waiting for them to see. Waiting for that gray cloud to cross the sky and make rain fall upon them.

She was waiting, she knew, for an idiot to come back from England, but instead of thinking about that, she chewed slowly on her pen and watched the clouds open up and cry like she had done before at night.

And she waited.

Word Count: 156

Date: June 18, 2006

Time: 12:26AM


	2. Breaking Her

Thank you very much cherrixwolf for your review! I've always liked that quality in writing and I'm very happy that it worked out. This one is more of an angst-filled one. I blame watching Cardcaptor Sakura the Movie 2.

* * *

She watched the darkness form around him and felt her heart break. Not a quiet, soft tear, but a brutal ripping that left her breathless and stunned.

Her fingers trembled and she wondered if she would begin to bleed from the inside out.

After everything, after all that had happened, it came down to this. She struggled to keep herself together, because she wasn't a baby. Because she had gone through this before, dammit. She had felt her heart be broken before.

Right? She couldn't remember. She blinked and felt only disinterest as a tear rolled down her cheek. She was trying to remember if she'd felt this ache deep within herself that seemed to widen every moment he stared at her with those blank eyes. They weren't amber anymore, she thought. They were a dead and dull gold.

She swore she heard that little heart (for it was no longer hers) shatter all over again, and again, and again until her crying became louder.

The dawn broke.

* * *

Word Count: 166

Date: June 18, 2006

Time: 12:40 AM


	3. Breaking Him

This will be my last update for a while, because we're going on vacation and I won't have internet access. Thank you for all the reviews and I promise to continue when I get back. I'll hopefully even have more drabbles ready for you all!

This one plays on a 'what if' and was made shortly after the last chapter. I was feeling a little...evil, I think.

* * *

I opened my eyes.

There is the sound of pain all around me. Tortured, relentless suffering of someone who matters.

Where am I?

_Kimi wa dare?_ There is only the morning breaking and a girl crying. Somewhere, far, far away in a part of me that is still fading away, I die.

Who are you? _Kimi wa dare?_

The tower around us grows brighter with blood reds and aching golds and my heart grows heavier. The girl suddenly stops crying and stands up, a frown on her face.

She pulls a card from her hand and I watch, fascinated.

Who are you?

She shouts something and the bubble of darkness leaves me, and my mind clears. The morning has come.

"_Kimi wa dare?"_ I ask, confused. She breaks as much as the dawn around us.

* * *

Word Count: 135

Date: June 18, 2006

Time: 12:58 AM

* * *

Note: In case you were confused, 'kimi wa dare' means 'who are you'. I think. Or so DNAngel fansubs tell me. 


	4. He is He was

Um...hi! I'm back, and I have to say, I'm really happy that people have been reviewing. Its really great to hear from everyone (especially you, ma petite!).

This was originally a lot more explicit, though God knows why (I had been reading Nora Roberts and then was scribbling around on my notebook paper) and I wasn't going to put it up, but then I shrugged and made it kiddy proof. I honestly wasn't too proud of the more explicit version, so its okay that I changed it.

(AGH THE ANGST IS TAKING OVER MY MIND)

* * *

He was everything. He was like buses rushing away too fast, like unspoken words spilling from tired lips. He was like the softest kiss that you never received but wished for. He was like three words you could have said, would have said, _should _have said.

He was like the ocean between them. Strong, clear, and too much to handle, but leaving you longing for more. A golden autumn leaf stubbornly to a lone tree in a play-ground next to the swing sets where memories are buried in a sand box at the foot of a giant penguin.

Her eyes smiled up at the ceiling as a translucent tear slid down her cheek. A teddy bear nestled against her side, its never closing eyes weeping with her.

* * *

Word Count: 127

Date: June 20, 2006

Time: 3:33 PM


	5. There Is No Hope Card

Oh-kay! I was so pleased with my reviews, especially Medieval Legend15, who has reviewed every one of my chapters so far. You really make me smile whenever I see you've reviewed.

I swear I'm on an angst trip. And whats with the continued Movie 2 stuff? (bashes head). Ah, oh well. Ikou yo.

* * *

He wanted to shudder but tried to smile as she called his name.

"Syaoran-kun!"

Oh, so he had made it in time. The card turned to him and relief and bitterness and hope filled him. His last feelings. The void wrapped around him and he felt nothing for the first time in his life. Nothing at all, except the faintest echo of pain, like a numb ache.

"I am sure that once again, I will-"

He would what again? It went darker for a moment, but he could still see out. He saw the girl cry something but heard nothing. Heard only the dull beating of his heart and a roaring in his head that was drifting away and seemed to scream. Because he had nothing else to do, and felt nothing was important at the moment, he listened to it.

_I love her I love her oh god I love Sak-_

* * *

Word Count: 152

Date: July 13, 2006

Time: 10:51 PM


	6. That Girl on My Mind

Thanks so much to: ma petite ( I love you so much, love! Collin and Ayumu do too, kay?) cherrixwolf (who has also reviewed all my chapters, I'm sorry for not pointing that out last chapter) and Medieval Legend15 (thanks again for reviewing. I made this one happier (I think) for you!).

I think I'm out of my angst mood. Which is weird, cause my mom just broke my heart.

* * *

No. Absolutely not. I refuse to do it, refuse to let myself bend to the will of another. It just isn't in my nature to be that way.

I can't. I won't! You can't make me and I won't do it, so there. Just get over it and move on, Syaoran. Just move on.

Oh, no, she's looking over here with her big, annoying, green eyes. I can handle those, as long as she doesn't - AH CRAP. She smiled. Her stupid, full blown smile.

And suddenly, before I could go through my mantra again (No. Absolutely not. I refuse to - ), I had done it.

I had fallen in love with her, and could only curse and renew efforts to ignore it.

* * *

Words: 124

Date: July 19, 2006

Time: 7:33 PM


	7. That Boy on My Mind

As a 'holy crap I can't believe it took me so long to update' apology, I have another chapter coming up right after this. That's right folks, two chapters, two days, its a once in a lifetime thing for me. I feel so bad that I left here again, but I was kindapped. Viciously ripped from my world.

Anyway, so I like this, but its really more of a follow up. My next chapter is going to be a lot better, because I wrote it in my head coming back after reading the last Cardcaptor Sakura manga for the millionth time. I was in such a CCS mood. It was great.

So, enjoy the chapter! And review please!

* * *

No. Absolutely not. I can't do this, refuse to let myself do this. I can't! I love Yukito-san! I know I do, I know I -

Oh, he's looking at me. A blush fills my face before I can stop it and I shake my head. No. I can't fall in love with him! Not him, the boy who's my rival and friend and the closest boy to me who protects me and …

Wait. Hold on, I can't do this! I mean, wasn't it just a few hours ago that Yukito promised to come to our parlor? Hadn't I been the one to ask him to stop by so I could show off my waitress's outfit?

I bet Syaoran would look good in his waiter outfit…Agh! He's still looking at me. Why?

No, I can't. I can't! I have to tell Yukito, because maybe this strange feeling in my heart will go away. This strange feeling for Syaoran.

I take a deep breath and realize that despite my efforts, I still was falling in love with him.

* * *

Words: 178

Date: July 19, 2006

Time: 7:44 PM


	8. Sakura

Sorry I didn't update so quickly. I thought I could tell myself that I didn't need reviews, but I really, really like them. I promise I'll update, but only if you people reading (cause hello, I know you are) take the time to tell me you are. I don't even care if you flame me; in fact, I'd like it. I haven't been amused in a while.

0000000

Syaoran sat down on his bed while Sakura watched him. He sighed and tried to ignore the tight feeling that was surrounding him. He tried to ignore what he knew was pain filling his heart.

Sakura simply stared at him.

"I miss you," he whispered, and she stared.

He fell backwards and clenched his eyes close. Sakura was quiet on the other side of the room while he ached inside.

"I hate missing you." He took a shaky breath and stood up, walking over to her and picking up the bear that continued to stare solemnly at him.

"I want to go home." Syaoran hugged Sakura to him and let the despair consume him.

0000000

Word Count : 144

Date: August 6, 2006

Time: 8:23 PM

0000000

This came to me as I read the last book again (for the frillionth time). A lot of people say "Oh, poor Sakura, he left her boo hoo let her cry". I did that too, so I'm hypocritical, but hardly anyone says anything about him. Syaoran has to feel bad too, and then I noticed that he asked if he could call the bear Sakura as she gave it to him. So I thought, "Hey plot idea!" and this was the product.


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